


Magician

by FloreatCastellum



Series: Marauder Moments [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Gen, Pottermore, Pottermore Compliant, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:01:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25171294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FloreatCastellum/pseuds/FloreatCastellum
Summary: "Petunia did not want Lily as a bridesmaid, because she was tired of being overshadowed; Lily was hurt. Vernon refused to speak to James at the reception, but described him, within James’ earshot, as ‘some kind of amateur magician’." - Pottermore, Vernon & Petunia Dursley.James is very aware that this wedding is going to be absolutely dire. But he did promise he would try and patch things up with the worst muggle he's ever met.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Petunia Evans Dursley/Vernon Dursley
Series: Marauder Moments [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1474679
Comments: 21
Kudos: 116





	Magician

‘Did you get your licence?’ she asked, her eyes narrowed. 

‘Yes!’ lied James, looking highly affronted. ‘I passed with six majors!’ 

‘That’s a fail.’ 

‘I mean I didn’t even get six majors.’ 

She stared at him for a few moments, the car still rumbling, he had to tilt his head awkwardly to look out the window at her. 

‘Get in the car, Lily,’ he said, grinning. ‘You said we had to drive, and I spent a long time being confused by the muggle I rented it from before eventually giving up and confunding him.’ 

She huffed, but stomped around the bonnet and wrenched open the glossy blue passenger door of the Morris 1800 and slid onto the leather seat - the car had a clutch and a handbrake. He had learnt this to impress Vernon. 

‘You look nice,’ he said admiringly, as she settled in. She was wearing a dress of sunny yellow, and on her lap was a large round box he assumed contained the hat she had been talking about. 

‘So do you,’ she said hesitantly, taking in his drab muggle suit and squinting at his head. ‘Oh my god, your hair… it’s… it’s lying flat!’ 

‘Awful, isn’t it?’ he said cheerfully. ‘I thought my dad would cry with joy when I asked him for that bloody potion. This is the ugliest I’ve ever been. The new Mr and Mrs Dursley better bloody appreciate it.’ 

‘No, you look handsome!’ she said laughing. ‘Very smart.’ 

‘There’s no need to be cruel, Evans.’ 

‘I mean it! It’s even all swept to the side, there’s a parting and everything! I’m very impressed.’ 

‘Stop it, pretend you can’t see it. God! I hope I don’t somehow get spotted by anyone I know.’ 

She stared expectantly in her seat, and he smiled confusedly back for a moment, before exclaim, ‘ah! Driving. Yes. Right… driving to the hell wedding.’

‘I told you to stop calling it that.’ 

Sirius had given him a few quick lessons, because they’d assumed it couldn’t be that much different from the motorbike and they’d read a book about how to do it, so how hard could it be? 

The car stalled several times, causing Lily to yelp and brace herself against the sides of the car (‘it’s fine, I put a bunch of charms on!’ he told her), but eventually they were driving away, Lily frantically reminding him to do something about the clutch as the car made a horrendous scraping noise, then yelling to keep his eye on the road as he looked down at it. 

‘Well how am I meant to-?’

‘You just have to know it’s there and push it in the right direction! Do you want me to dri-’

‘No!’ he said loudly, jerking the steering wheel a little too vigorously to avoid a pothole, ‘no, this is between me and Vernon Dursley!’

‘He’s not even here! He can’t see you!’

‘He is! He’s in my head!’ he said, aggressively tapping his temple. 

All things considered, James thought he did quite well. He only had to use four charms, he remembered which pedals were which, and Lily shouted a lot but she didn’t cry, even when they had a few minor issues on the roundabout. 

Finally he was navigating the car through quiet Surrey roads, while Lily frowned at a map. ‘Why didn’t she want to get married in Cokeworth?’ he asked. ‘That’s tradition, isn’t it? Where the bride’s from?’ 

‘Oh, you know what she’s like, she’s snobby about it,’ said Lily distractedly. ‘Mind you, she’s probably got a point there, Cokeworth’s a bit grim - I think it’s this next left.’ 

The church did not have a car park, so the wedding guests were pulling up onto the verge all the way down the road - the pressure on James was immense. He hadn’t quite got the hang of reversing yet, nor stopping on time, so it was with several lurches and slight bumps that he parked the rented car up on the bank beside a field of cows, giving very little room between his door and the fence. 

‘Don’t judge me, you couldn’t do any better,’ he told the Hereford staring at him as he squeezed out. As he walked around the car he could see that many muggles were staring too - they were probably impressed with his parking. He told Lily this, but she simply smiled in an exasperated way as she swept her large yellow hat onto her head, leading the way up the gravel path to the church. 

‘Ah, hello, bab, don’t you look lovely?’ greeted Mrs Evans, embracing Lily then stepping back to inspect her dress. ‘Yellow did always suit you.’ 

James knew what she was doing. The fact that Lily was not wearing a bridesmaid dress was the unspoken erumpent in the room, and Lily’s slightly strained smile and mumbled ‘thank you’ was a refection of that. 

‘And James, you look so handsome too,’ continued Mrs Evans breezily. ‘Ooh, I don’t think I’ve ever seen your hair like that, very nice.’

‘Haha, yeah…’ said James, awkward touching at it and trying to will his cheeks not to flush red. He hated it so much. It felt wrong on his head. 

‘How’s Tuney doing?’ Lily asked. ‘When’s she due to arrive?’ 

‘Oh, soon, I think, once they’ve stopped clarting about - but she’s got to be last anyway, hasn’t she? 

They took their seats in the little pews of the church, and James made polite conversation with Mrs Evans, who introduced him to an obscure auntie who looked half asleep. 

‘Are weddings… in your neck of the woods much like ours?’ Mrs Evans asked quietly, as the church began to fill and the hum of chatter rose. ‘I imagine they’re a bit more fun.’

‘You know what, Mrs, Evans, I haven’t been to one since I was a little kid - we’re a small family - so I’m not sure. It all seems familiar so far. Course I’d usually be wearing dress robes.’ 

Her eyes lit up. ‘Ooh, and what do they look like?’ 

He tried to describe them to her, in a low voice, but a few minutes later he spotted Vernon Dursley standing up at the front with a bald, red-faced man, and a hush descended over the church as a little old lady at the bag played the organ badly. 

They twisted in their seats to see Mr Evans walking with a beaming Petunia up the aisle, her arm linked in his, clutching a bouquet of pink roses. Her dress was lacey and high-necked; it reminded James a little of very old fashioned wizarding robes, and might have even been pretty and ethereal, if it weren’t for the fact that Petunia had a very long neck, and it took him a few seconds to work out her proportions. 

‘Oh, she looks like Princess Anne!’ he heard a nearby elderly muggle gasp approvingly. 

She had six bridesmaids, which seemed like an absurd amount to James, and he was sure that she had done it just to spite Lily - deliberately inflated the normal number just to rub her face in that she “couldn’t possibly” find space for her younger sister. Luckily, they were wearing pink monstrosities, so he was able to exchange a smirking glance with Lily that made it clear to him that both of them agreed she’d dodged quite a curse. One of the bridesmaids, he noticed, looked staggeringly like Vernon - a great, tall, broad sort of woman, with a curled smirk on her hefty jaw and smaller than normal eyes that swivelled around to glint nastily at the crowd. He was sure they hovered for a little longer than usual on Lily. 

He spent most of the ceremony trying very hard not to yawn, because that would be rude, but it was difficult, because it was incredibly boring. Every now and then they had to stand up and sing a hymn that no one really seemed to know the tune of, and though the vicar seemed very nice, James rather thought that the prayers and readings went on far too much - surely Corinthians was a tad overdone? 

He was so bored that he was finding it very difficult not to fidget - he kept reaching for his program and putting it down when he remembered it would be rude to make a paper plane out of it. 

When we get married, he thought suddenly, we’ll keep this bit short and sweet. It was funny that he thought this, because they were only a year out of school and they hadn’t talked about it yet, but somehow he knew if he turned to Lily and said it, she would probably agree without so much as blinking at the idea. 

Then finally they were being shepherded out of the church and given little handfuls of confetti to throw over the happy couple (James was tempted to throw his aggressively in Vernon’s face, but thought better of it), then waving them off as she got into a car with tin cans tied to the bumper. 

He felt a hand clap him on the back. ‘Well, that’s one down, one more to go!’ Mr Evans said grandly. 

James was not sure whether he should reply in earnest or reassurance that they were a few years off. ‘Er…’

‘Dad!’ scolded Lily. 

‘My darling Lily flower, you’re looking spectacular, I knew you would!’ said Mr Evans fondly, taking her by the hand, lifting it and forcing her to spin. ‘Love the hat,’ he added, as she used her free hand to steady it. 

She smiled up at him. ‘Tuney looked lovely,’ she said. 

‘She did, didn’t she?’ agreed Mr Evans. ‘Should be a cracker of a reception, I’ve laid on a nice spread for us all. Plenty of tipples to help us get through the in-laws.’ 

‘David,’ snapped Mrs Evans. 

‘Get to know them,’ he said patiently, as though she had misheard him. 

So they all piled back into their cars and left, in a mass convey (James driving as carefully as he could manage, with Lily taking responsibility of the clutch for him) to the community hall where the reception was being hosted, in a town called Little Whinging. 

Lily had said that Petunia and Vernon had recently bought a house there - some bland new build, she’d said. It seemed to James that the entire town was new. Everything seemed carefully planned out and clean and utterly devoid of personality, and he was quite sure that if he weren’t following Mr and Mrs Evans’s car, he would be completely lost. 

The community hall was a plain building, but to their credit the new Mr and Mrs Dursley had decorated it fairly nicely, with pink and white balloons and rose centrepieces on the round, white table-clothed tables. Mr and Mrs Evans went straight over to the top table, and James and Lily followed. Though they weren’t expecting to be on the top table, traditionally reserved for the bride, groom parents, the best man and chief bridesmaid, they had thought they might be close by. But they moved further and further back the way they came, checking each little name card until, finally, they found ‘Lily Evans’ and ‘Jim Potter’ on the table by the door to the toilets. 

‘When has anyone ever called me Jim in front of them? Or ever, actually?’ James said. ‘Did you tell them I was called Jim? Only Grandad Harry ever called me that.’ 

‘No,’ said Lily, who seemed to be trying to seize on something to discuss other than their terrible places. She gave him a teasing sort of look. ‘Would you like me to start calling you Jim?’ 

‘Absolutely not.’ 

They didn’t really know what to do with themselves - there was an awkward two hours between the ceremony and reception beginning, where they were apparently left to fend for themselves, though thankfully there did seem to be some champagne going round. So James swung his suit jacket around the back of the chair to claim the assigned seat he didn’t want, and Lily left her fancy hat on the table in front of hers, and they took their champagne to go and mingle with the other guests.

They mostly stuck close to her parents at first, but people were so busy congratulating the Evans family in general that they ended up getting completely separated. Lily was included in this - people came over and told her it was a beautiful ceremony and Petunia looked lovely, and then they would tell her that she looked fantastic in her yellow dress and why wasn’t she a bridesmaid? Too shy?

‘Yeah, too shy,’ she said. 

‘I’m not surprised,’ they might reply back. ‘You went off to some special school, didn’t you? A boarding one for gifted children? I’d never heard of such a thing, your parents seem so proud!’ 

It had never occurred to James how hard it must be for muggleborns to explain where they were most of the year, but he saw, over and over again, as old neighbours and distant cousins and even old school friends cried, ‘Lily!’ with excited surprise and rushed over and demanded to know how she was and what she’d been up to all these years. Conversation about the wedding seemed to have quite run out (there was only so many times you could say Petunia looked lovely, he supposed), and it only got worse as news of her presence spread; people started to come over to them saying, ‘I heard a rumour that you were here! How are you, my dear girl? I haven’t seen you in years!’ 

And then once that conversation was awkwardly tiptoed around, she would introduce James, and they were just as intrigued by him, and over and over and over again there were the same jokes. 

‘I bet you’re a bit worried, eh? Haha!’ 

‘You two’ll be next, I expect?’ 

‘Was today’s ceremony inspiring? Should I buy a hat?’ 

‘Do I hear similar bells for you two?’

Each time, James chuckled awkwardly and dipped his head and let them wink at them both before they were left in slightly awkward silence as he remembered they were only a year out of school and even if it was true that this was what he ultimately wanted he had no idea how he was supposed to react when complete strangers brought up what he thought was quite a personal topic, actually. 

To her credit, Lily did not make it any more awkward by looking at him expectantly, and was uncommonly good at slyly moving the conversation away by saying something like, ‘only if I catch the bouquet, I suppose - did you see the roses? Weren’t they beautiful? Tuney’s friend Irene did them - she’s a florist, you know.’

James tried his best too; he enquired and listened politely about muggle jobs and how far people had travelled, he nimbly dodged questions about his own career and education and brought the conversation back round to them, and when it came to it he fell back on the copius amounts of boring research he had done about cars and golf and the new muggle prime minister. 

‘This is going to drive Tuney mad,’ Lily whispered, in a very tense voice as her old babysitter left. ‘It’s her big day, and people are talking about me.’ 

‘They’re excited to see you, it’s not your fault,’ said James. ‘They’re still here for her, aren’t they?’ 

‘She won’t see it that way.’ 

Perhaps she was right, for when the happy couple returned from having their pictures taken and the wedding breakfast began, Petunia kept throwing furious glares in their direction. 

James tried very hard to distract Lily from this, to pretend it was all fine and everyone was clearly having a nice time, but Lily had gone rigid with anxiety, terrified of upsetting or offending her sister on this special day.

She forced a smile through the speeches (it probably did not help that Mr Evans’ speech included the line ‘Petunia was a perfect example for her younger sister, who has also flourished spectacularly in life and will, I’m sure, be the recipient of such a speech soon too!), and James tried very hard not to show shocked horror on his face when both the groom and best man speeches included racist jokes. 

He tried, too, to engage with the other people on the table, but they were distant relatives of Vernons, and they spent a long time talking about how they would have to leave early to beat the traffic to get back to Blackpool, and without any muggle-worthy conversation to offer them back, James and Lily found that all chatter dried up very swiftly. So they ate their (admittedly very nice) chicken and drank the wine on the table, and James entertained his girlfriend in a low voice by playing a secret, slightly mean spotting game. ‘Ugliest dress in the room - you can’t pick the bridesmaid dresses.’ 

‘Oh, good grief, Sandra’s,’ said Lily immediately, subtly using her fork to point in the right direction. ‘It’s got little twee kittens on, I couldn’t take my eyes off it in the church, it was so foul.’ 

‘Most likely to secretly also be magical, and we’re all hiding it from each other for no reason.’ 

She considered, taking a sip from her wine glass as her bright eyes flicked across the room. ‘That guy, three o’clock. Must be a distant relation of Sluggy, surely?’ 

James made a show of dropping his fork so he could twist in his seat and pick it up, taking a good look as he rose. Surely a member of the Dursely family, there was a large man sitting a table over from them, his red suspenders straining, his bald head giving him the appearance of a slightly sweaty egg. 

‘Long lost half brother, a hundred percent,’ he agreed quietly as he turned back to face Lily. 

‘Person most likely to get drunk and make a scene,’ Lily suggested, ‘not including my new brother in law,’ she added as he grinned and opened his mouth. 

‘Me?’ he suggested lightly. 

She tutted. ‘Don’t be silly, I don’t believe that.’ 

‘You’re right, I’m on my best behaviour. It’ll have to be you then. Right - most likely to not actually have been invited, but has wandered in by mistake and is now just going with the flow?’ 

After the meal, they watched Vernon and Petunia shuffle awkwardly through their first dance, grinning soppily at one another, and as soon as a few others had gone out onto the dance floor, James took Lily by the hand and led her out too. 

He enjoyed it, the easy structure to it - one of her hands clasping his, the other rested wonderfully on his chest while he gently held her waist, the gentle sway of it. He was so glad that she was wearing yellow rather than the ugly pink of the bridesmaid dresses - her hair seemed even redder than usual, her eyes piercing through him. 

‘You look amazing,’ he said quietly, as she spun softly under his arm. 

She smiled, but she still seemed strange and anxious. ‘Maybe I should have worn something less bright; maybe I’m drawing attention to myself.’ 

‘You could be wearing one of Hagrid’s overcoats and you’d still be the most stunning woman here,’ he told her. 

He’d have liked to have kissed her, and he thought that she would have liked to kiss him, but Petunia and Vernon were dancing nearby, and he knew that Lily so desperately wanted to avoid anything that could be interpreted poorly. Indeed, at one point (in fact, the only time Petunia spoke with either of them for the entire reception), Lily was pulled aside by the arm by the bride. 

‘Everyone keeps asking me about you,’ Petunia hissed. ‘Asking me if you’ve finished that fancy school they all think you went to.’ 

‘I’m sorry - they’re just curious - just tell them yes and I’m on a -‘

‘I don’t want to tell them anything!’ Petunia said fiercely. ‘Just put a stop to it!’ 

‘How am I meant to stop it?’ Lily asked unhappily. ‘What does she want me to do?’ 

‘I don’t know,’ said James, and he pulled her back onto the dance floor. ‘Just ignore her. It’s not your fault.’ 

So he simply danced with her for a few more songs, and then let her go to dance with her father. 

He thought he might have a cigarette while he was waiting, so he headed back to his chair to get them out of his jacked, but as he did so, spotted Vernon, also heading out to the car park. Perhaps this was his chance - he could offer a fag and make amends, and nod patiently while Vernon told him about fiscal policy or hippies or whatever else was bothering him. Perhaps he could start with talking about cars again - James had made particular note of the different roads they’d been on to get here, and he had even memorised the sort of engine his rented car had. He’d pretend he owned it, just for today. 

He saw Vernon standing with a little group of guests, some of them smoking, some of them still clutching drinks, and began to make his way over, practicing his congratulations in his head, along with his opening line of ‘bit of a nightmare getting here - roadworks on the M25, would you believe?’ 

‘I thought you said Petunia’s sister probably wouldn’t come, Vernon?’ one of the people was asking. ‘Isn’t she the redhead?’ 

‘Yes, that’s her - deigned to grace us with her presence after all,’ said Vernon. 

‘Such a pity they don’t get on - Petunia’s father was telling me about her, she sounds rather impressive. Went to a special school for genius’s or something.’ 

‘Oh, I don’t know,’ blustered Vernon. ‘She’s ended up with some kind of amateur magician, she’s quite hopeless - thrown away all that potential for a complete wastrel.’ 

James paused, his cigarette still in his mouth, then lit up, before casually walking away. He was sure that Vernon had seen him approach, and if it were any other time, at any other event, James would have taken on the challenge of getting his own back or winding Vernon Dursley up with great enthusiasm, but he had promised Lily that he would try to make this easier for her. 

He walked around the nearest corner of the building and leaned against it, smoking his cigarette deeply. He could still hear the music from inside, and he imagined Lily dancing with her father in there. 

Perhaps, if he had been a different kind of man, she’d have felt more happy at this wedding. Perhaps if he had been better the first time he met Petunia and her awful new husband, they might have treated her with more kindness - even been glad to see her here. Maybe if he had been the sort of man Vernon Dursley liked, or had been able to pretend to be such a man, Lily wouldn’t have spent all day second guessing her every move and word, holding back tears as she tried to work out what the right thing to do was. If only he’d taken muggle studies, so that he might have helped his girlfriend keep one foot in this strange, constantly changing world she had come from. 

He wondered, too, if Vernon Dursley had unwittingly hit the nail on the head - if Lily might have chosen someone who wasn’t just living off inheritance and trust funds while he got into scraps with Death Eaters, if she had chosen someone that was actively pursuing a career, whether that might be better for her in the long run. 

But no, he thought, as he finished his cigarette and rubbed it into the cracked tarmac with his foot, there was plenty of time for him to grow up and get a real career later. For now all he had to do was at least try to get through this effing wedding. 

He had timed it well - he was back in the hall just as Lily was finishing dancing with her father and heading back over to their table, breathless and slightly flushed. 

‘Where’ve you been?’ she asked. 

‘Just had a quick fag,’ he mumbled, ‘thought I’d try and connect with Vernon about cars.’ 

‘Ooh, and did you?’ 

‘Er, nah, he’s pretty busy talking to other people.’ 

She studied him for a moment, then nodded and sat heavily in her seat. ‘Fair enough, bride and groom are always the most popular at a wedding, eh?’ 

‘Absolutely. Want a drink?’ 

‘Please.’ 

He realised, standing at the bar, that he was beside one of the bridesmaids - the large, slightly moustached one. ‘Hello,’ he said cheerfully, giving a polite nod. ‘How do you know Petunia?’ 

The woman scowled at him. ‘I’m Vernon’s sister. I already know who you are.’

‘Ah,’ said James, shrugging off the rudeness. ‘How is he? I was hoping to catch up with him and see if-’

‘Why would he want to talk to you?’ she said, a repulsive sneer on her face. ‘It’s his wedding day, he’s here to enjoy himself.’ 

James was so taken aback, all he could do was blink at her. ‘Right… sorry, I… I think we’ve got off on the wrong foot-’

‘I don’t know why the pair of you showed up, quite frankly,’ she continued sanctimoniously. ‘It was so generous of Petunia to invite you both, but the decent thing to do would have been to come up with an excuse not to come, you know - rather than allow her-’ she spat this word in a way that made it clear to James she was talking about Lily, ‘-make everything about herself as usual.’ 

He felt as though his insides were boiling. ‘I don’t think you’ve actually met my girlfriend, have you? Not that there seems to be any need, you’ve created quite the villain in your head as it is.’ 

‘I don’t need to meet her, girls like that are all the same - obsessed with competing and proving themselves better.’

‘Than you? Quite a challenge,’ he said sarcastically. He hadn’t liked the look of her before, but now he found her utterly repulsive - something about her was simply deeply unpleasant, all the way down to her core. 

‘Oh, and I suppose you’re the same? Think you’re better us?’ 

‘Yep,’ he said briskly. The barman looked at him, and James leaned forward. ‘A glass of red and a glass of white, please, mate,’ he said. 

‘Why even come?’ she challenged. ‘Petunia says she hasn’t seen her sister in months.’ 

‘Have I done something specifically to upset you?’ he asked. ‘Why are you so angry?’ 

‘I’m not,’ she said sniffly. ‘I just think my brother has chosen a fine woman as a wife, and I’m appalled at the way she’s been treated - clearly her sister is a bad egg.’ 

‘I don’t know what she’s been saying to you, but Lily and I came here with the best intentions,’ said James, through gritted teeth. 

‘Some people,’ she said loudly, as the barman returned, ‘I think have just shown up for the free bar.’ 

‘And I’ll have a tequila shot, please,’ James added as the barman handed over the glasses of wine. When he received his shot, he turned his body, caught Marge Dursley’s eye, and held her disgusted gaze as he sprinkled salt onto his hand and took the shot. He winked at her as he took his glasses of wine and left, very much enjoying the puce colour her face had turned. 

Lily was still sat, rather miserable looking, at the table, though she clearly forced herself to smile as he approached. 

‘I just met your new sister in law,’ he told her, as he placed the drinks on the table. ‘She’s the worst person I’ve ever come across, and I’ve met Voldemort twice.’ 

Lily raised her eyebrows, grinning in despair. Both of them were clearly finding it all quite amusing by this point, and as he sat beside her and sighed heavily, she started to giggle. 

‘I’m sorry,’ she said quietly, still grinning. ‘We knew it would be dire.’ 

‘I have tried,’ he said pleadingly at her. 

She laughed. ‘I know you have. I appreciate it.’ 

‘He told someone I was a magician,’ he said, half amused, half groaning in humiliated annoyance. ‘And if that wasn’t bad enough, he said I was an amateur one…’ 

‘Really? Fuck! They’re awful.’ She put her head in her hands, wincing. ‘I’m sorry.’ 

‘I even learned about cars and something called golf, but I haven’t had a chance to speak to him anyway.’ 

‘Count yourself lucky!’

‘We’ll have to face it, Lily, we’re just never going to be Dursley people.’ 

Lily’s shoulders were shaking with laughter, but she smiled sympathetically at him for a few moments, before leaning forward, raising her hand, and ruffling through his hair. He hadn’t realised how heavy the potion had made it feel. ‘There’ she said, in a satisfied voice. ‘Much more like yourself.’ 

He grinned and leaned his head back into her hand as she mussed it up, running her slender fingers through it so that it stuck up at the back like it was supposed to. ‘Want to dance again?’ he asked. ‘And get really drunk and make a scene?’ 

She downed her wine - impressively, James thought, because it was cheap, horrible stuff. ‘Yes,’ she said firmly, seizing his hand and standing. 

They had a lot more fun once they had shaken this ridiculous idea of fitting in. James tried his best to sing along to songs he didn’t know, and they danced vigorously, stopping only to get more drinks from the bar, or, on one occasion, stand to the side and watch a couple from the groom’s side, who were clearly having a drunken argument. 

‘She meant nothing to me, my darling,’ James whispered in Lily’s ear, as they both watched the furiously gesticulating couple on the other side of the hall. ‘It was a summer fling, a meaningless encounter!’ 

‘You expect me to believe that?’ she whispered back, in a comically posh voice as the drunk woman jabbed her finger fiercely. ‘You’ve chased after her the moment we met them at the hag convention - how on earth will I explain it to the children?’ 

‘Little Johnny and Olivia know Daddy’s got a thing for hags!’ James whispered back. ‘That’s how women end up in the Dursley family!’ 

She snorted and spluttered with laughter, elbowing him playfully in the side. ‘You can’t say that about my sister!’ 

‘You’re right, I’m sorry - she’d have never been at a hag convention, she’s strictly muggle.’ 

Lily simply smirked at him, before looking back with a start at the couple - the woman had given the man a sharp slap, and was storming out of the hall. 

‘My darling, wait!’ whispered James in a panicked voice as they watched the man hurry after her. ‘There’s nothing strictly illegal about sleeping with the house elf!’ 

They drank more and more - James waving his drink at Marge every time he did so, though she seemed to be getting increasingly drunk too. The dancing became less and less restrained, and James noticed that Mr Evans in particular had apparently given up trying to talk with his new son in law and instead preferred to come over to James, slapping him on the back and asking him to explain about Quidditch again. 

They were pulling on their coats and making their goodbyes when Lily finally snapped. Just as they were about to leave, the large, beefy bridesmaid that James had come into conflict with at the bar walked back in from the carpark, where she had perhaps gone for some fresh air or too cool down from dancing, for she was looking rather sweaty and extremely red in the face. 

‘Oh, you must be Marge!’ said Lily pleasantly, holding out her hand. ‘Vernon’s sister - I’m so sorry, we’re just leaving, but I’m-’

‘No need to introduce yourself, I’ve heard all about you off Petunia,’ said Marge nastily. 

‘Oh!’ said Lily, in a happy tone that was dangerously false, ‘has she really? What’s she said?’ 

‘Lily-’ said James, trying to pull her away. 

‘You just live to try and upstage her, don’t you?’ slurred Marge, brandishing her glass at her so that the wine slopped out down her ugly pink dress. 

‘Yeah I do it on purpose, I just like everyone to know I’m better than her - you know, in between my other hobbies of skinning cats and burning down orphanages-’

James barked with laughter. ‘OK, time to go, come on, Lils-’

‘No, I need to go and be the centre of attention - maybe I should announce a pregnancy-’

‘Well it was lovely meeting you, Marge!’ said James loudly, dragging his girlfriend away. 

‘I knew I should have come wearing white!’ Lily yelled as he pulled her through the door and out into the car park. ‘Get off me! I want to hex her!’ 

‘Statute of Secrecy, Lily,’ he said cheerfully, hoisting her over his shoulder while she wriggled. ‘As much as I would love - believe me - to see that.’ 

They couldn’t drink thanks to the very necessary large amounts of alcohol they had consumed, but they had forseen this problem and booked a room in a cheap and cheerful hotel just a few streets away. So James headed in this direction, Lily still slung over his shoulder. 

‘Put me down! I want to go back and hex her! I want to blow her up!’

‘Oh, god, I really want to, but no,’ he said happily. 

When he felt they were safely away from the reception, he let her down, and listened admiringly as she ranted and raved about Marge, and then about her sister, all the way to the hotel. 

‘She’s driving me up the wall! She’s never willing to give me the benefit of the doubt, she constructs these ridiculous scenarios in her head of me deliberately sabotaging her or trying to out do her, I’m sick to bloody death of it-’

‘I know,’ James said reassuringly, as he took the key from the woman at the reception desk with an apologetic smile. ‘It’s completely unfair.’ 

‘-I didn’t ask to be-’ she was sober enough to check over her shoulder as they headed into the lift, and lower her voice even as the doors closed, ‘-magical any more than she asked to be a muggle!’ 

‘She’s bitter and jealous,’ James shrugged. 

‘Do you think she’ll ever get over it?’ 

‘I have no idea. Everyone I know who has siblings has fallen out with them. The whole idea of them baffles me. Thank Merlin I was a miracle surprise baby.’ 

They entered the hotel room, Lily violently kicking off her heels and James slinging his jacket untidily over the back of the battered desk chair, watching his girlfriend’s fury with great admiration and a hefty dose of attraction. 

Her eyes were flashing in anger, her hair swinging as she gesticulated with fiery passion, and she seemed to simply emit the vivacious spirit he loved so very much in her. 

‘I mean I meant what I was saying to that horrible woman Marge, you know, if Tuney’s going to start telling complete strangers that’s what I’m like I may as well really embrace it, might’n I? I might as well get smashed at her wedding or show up wearing white or - ooh!’ she said dangerously, pointing aggressively at him, as he stood there happily, his hands in his pockets, ‘you know what we should have done? Staged an engagement, that would have really stolen her thunder.’ 

He laughed. ‘Absolutely not.’ 

‘Is the idea so horrendous?’ she said darkly. ‘Every other bloody person at the wedding seemed to take it as a given, I mean how bloody rude-’ 

He laughed again. ‘No, I just have something much better planned than in the middle of a community hall at your sister’s wedding just to spite her.’ 

‘Oh!’ she laughed loudly, ‘do you? Well isn’t that noble - do you?’ she suddenly asked, as though realising what he’d said. 

He smiled, and shrugged with a nod. ‘Might do.’ She gaped at him slightly. ‘I’m not asking here though,’ he said, with a slight frown. ‘Not now. Not in a budget hotel room.’ 

She laughed, and he approached her casually, hoping the immense relief that was flooding through him was not noticeable on his face. She hadn’t recoiled in horror, or looked panicked or awkward, or tried to come up with reasons to say no. She tilted her head up as he got close, and he kissed her, only breaking apart as he felt her grin beneath his lips. 

‘I don’t think I’ll be making Petunia a bridesmaid.’ 

He grinned back. ‘What a pity, I was hoping Vernon would be my best man.’ 

They laughed, and they kissed, and in the heady, intoxicated, tired state they were in, they stumbled clumsily towards the bed, still giggling and joking as they pulled off their clothes. 

‘I’m sorry the wedding was so awful,’ she sighed, as he kissed hungrily at her neck. ‘I’m sorry about my family.’ 

‘Are you joking?’ he murmured against her skin. ‘I had a great time. They’ve really grown on me.’ 

She laughed, and smacked his arse playfully, then rolled them over so she was straddling him. She looked down at him in a mischievous sort of way, and he grinned back up. ‘You did try very hard, didn’t you?’ she said soothingly. 

‘Never tried harder,’ he said. ‘Usually people like me immediately, it was very challenging.’ 

She leaned down and kissed him once again, her fingers trailing down his chest, his shirt now unbuttoned. ‘Well,’ she murmured softly. ‘I don’t want the night to be a complete loss… and you clearly did try very, very hard.’


End file.
